


It's been a long week

by emberlem



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Caleb Widogast Has Issues, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Caleb Widogast is a Mess, Hurt/Comfort, I wanted to write cute soft sub Caleb but this happened instead, Not really Caleb/Fjord but you can read it that way if you want to, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad Caleb Widogast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:15:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24234157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emberlem/pseuds/emberlem
Summary: Some days, Caleb wakes up trembling and his mind blank with panic and smoke and screams pleading him to stop.
Relationships: Fjord & Caleb Widogast, Fjord/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 5
Kudos: 260





	It's been a long week

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello it's been a hot minute since I last posted anything but now I've been watching season two of critical role and wah - Caleb can have my heart and all the incense and spellbooks he requires.
> 
> This fic seems more like a drabble tho.... next time I'll try to get in more plot development LOL.

Some days, Caleb wakes up trembling and his mind blank with  _ panic and smoke and screams pleading him to stop _ .

Before he met Nott, before he met the group of travellers that would eventually form the Nien with him, he used to spend those days curled up on the floor trembling for hours, unable to breathe properly and forgoing food and drink. When he used to travel on the road, he would sometimes come to his senses slowly on dry cracked muddy ground, his body and head aching, and he would have to lean against a boulder or tree until his lightheadedness passed. Sometimes, he wakes up in a small puddle of bile that he doesn't remember throwing up.

With the Nien, he doesn't have the luxury of losing himself. He has to constantly snap himself back to the present - or else he'll worry poor sweet Nott, or any other member of the Nien, really but Nott is the one who pays him the most attention. It is… sometimes difficult to do so, especially when his head is splitting itself into two and he's dizzy and his face feels wooden with exhaustion and fear.

He and the Nien have checked into an inn for the week in order to carry out a job that required them to search for a missing lady. The man who hired them, her brother, seemed stressed and desperate for any help - from what the Nien heard, the lady was supposed to be taking over the family business, but with her mysterious absence, the brother who wanted no part of the business had no choice but to step up to fill her role. To put it simply, he was very done with the work required to run a business and wanted his sister back to do it.

It is just Caleb's luck that on the second day of their investigations, he dreams of fire and his parents' screams, and of Master Ikithon forcing crystals under and out of his skin and looking down at him with abject disappointment as he writhed and screamed while strapped into a chair. He jerks awake with a whimper and a mind blank with panic as he curls himself into a ball to tremble. He's not so unlucky that Nott is still in the room - when he glances over at her bed in panic to make sure his pathetic whimpering hasn't woken her, he notes distantly that her bed is empty and she must have gone down for breakfast or for a drink.

As he stares blankly, time slips through his fingers.

It's only when someone raps on the door that Caleb flinches hard, almost colliding into the wall next to his bed, his breathing coming faster and building into slight whimpers.

"Caleb? It's Fjord. Just checking to see if you're up, everyone's coming down for breakfast."

Caleb hears Fjord talking. He just can't process it. Suddenly it's the voice of a guard in the Sanatorium and he's 17 again and terrified and his arms are burning as crystals force themselves out of the skin. In a panic, he tumbles off his bed and forces himself into the small space between the wooden floor and the bedframe. He unconsciously digs his fingernails into his forearms and scratches, trying to get rid of the burning prickling feeling.

Fjord, standing outside the room, barges his way in with his falchion splashing into his hand.

"Caleb?! Are you alright? Are you being robbed?"

The room is empty upon first glance.

Brows furrowed, Fjord moves forward to the center of the room. He can hear shaky breathing and what sounds like the rustling of clothes. Confused and wary, he glances under Nott's bed, before turning to look under Caleb's bed, where he comes face to face with a trembling wizard curled in on himself.

"Caleb?"

Caleb can't breathe. He's gasping in air but nothing seems to be going in and his vision is blurring. He doesn't know who Caleb is.  _ His name is Bren Aldric Ermendrud. His name is Bren and - and he murdered his family in fire -  _

"Fuck." Fjord sheaths his falchion and gets on his knees beside the bed.

"Caleb. Hey. Hey hey hey come on can you breathe with me? One - in - yes like that, slowly - and two - out." Fjord breathes in loudly and exaggeratedly.

Caleb doesn't know who's talking to him. But Bren was trained to obey and to follow. He breathes. And exhales.

"Ok. Caleb, can you please come out from under there?"

Caleb blinks slowly. Then he starts to shuffle out, his mind blank and his eyes unfocused. He's still trembling - Bren spent most of his life in fear after meeting Trent, and the fire and screams still echo in his head. However, he knows he has to obey or something worse will happen - maybe he will be strapped to a chair as crystals once again cut up his forearms and brush against his muscle and bones,or maybe he will be chained up and burnt in magical fire before being healed and burnt again. The punishment may differ, but the pain remains constant.

When he finally comes out from under the bed, he struggles into a kneeling position, still dazed and terrified and with an aching head. He faces the -  _ guard? _ \- with his eyes blank, readying himself to be hit for  _ hiding from the guards _ . Nevertheless, he still flinches as the guard slowly moves nearer to him.

Fjord doesn't think Caleb knows who the fuck  _ Fjord  _ is or where he currently is. The redhead is trembling like he's about to keel over, and he's softly repeating the word " _ bitte _ " over and over again like he doesn't even know it's coming out of his mouth. His nails are digging into his forearms and they’re scored red with lines that are beginning to bead slightly with blood.

Fjord isn't  _ great  _ with comfort - that's more of Caduceus's forte - but well he's in a pinch and Caleb is being very small and scared right now. Sighing, he wraps his arms around Caleb before hoisting him up and plopping himself onto the bed with Caleb in his lap. Caleb's face is pressed against the place where Fjord's neck meets his collarbone as Fjord starts running his hand through Caleb's hair and talking nonsense about what the rest of the Nien had been up to during breakfast while Caleb was absent. The other hand is rubbing gentle circles into Caleb's back in an attempt to calm his shivering down.

Caleb is terrified. His heart is racing and he can't understand what's happening. There's no pain and the guard is rumbling something about a Jester drawing penises on the table of the inn. He can't move much though, in the warm heavy arms of the  _ guard? _ and slowly the warmth and pressure help to calm his shaking down. He's half out of it from exhaustion when he starts to come back to himself.

"Fjord? Is dat you?" Caleb murmurs. It cuts off the story that Fjord is recounting about Molly and Jester squabbling about which shop they should go to in order to buy new clothing.

"Hey Caleb." Fjord continues petting Caleb's head and back as Caleb blinks in confusion against his collarbone.

"You tired? You can take a nap. Jester peeked in earlier and brought water and some food too." Fjord peels Caleb back slightly to peer into his eyes, before lifting him up momentarily to settle him against the headboard of his bed. Caleb can only blink as Fjord stretches over to the bedside table, where a jug of water is precariously balanced alongside a small pyramid of bread, cheese, meat, and pastries. It does look like a Jester construct, especially since the food looks ready to topple over at any time.

Suddenly, Fjord is holding a glass of water to Caleb's lips and encouraging him gently to drink. Caleb thinks distantly that he should be carrying his own cup, but when he tries to lift his arm, he's just so tired that all his fingers do is twitch. He obediently opens his mouth to sip at the water. Fjord doesn't let him stop until he finishes at least half a cup. Bread and cheese follows the water, with Fjord hand feeding him bite size pieces as his eyelids slowly grow heavier. When Caleb's eyes flutter shut for a while before slowly opening again, Fjord puts aside the food.

Caleb can see and feel Fjord moving him so that his head is resting against his pillow and he's tucked in under his blanket. It's almost like an out of body experience. He's so tired and he feels so distant from everything. However, when Fjord moves to stand up, Caleb grabs his shirt and curls his fingers tight.

Fjord stops in mild surprise before humming and moving himself so that he's stretched out next to Caleb. "Not going anywhere Caleb. You should sleep. It's been a long week."

There is silence for a while before the soft murmur "Ja. And it is only Tuesday." comes.

Fjord huffs in amusement before grabbing Caleb's hand to trace patterns into it.

Caleb falls back asleep like that. With warmth at his side and letters in Common being traced into his skin.


End file.
